Friday, September 25, 2009


Blogging. Doing my homework for SITS. Came across wishing we could snag some of these adorable outfits for the pumpkin! And those bows! Those Southern Ladies. At my house, I put them on Nik, and the hubby takes them off! I could only wish for bows so big!! Adorable!

One of my favorite sites: (I always meant to post about it, but I fet like I could never begin to know how too) It is not my story. It is theirs. I was just blessed enough to be able to touched and moved by it. Found it shortly after the pumpkin was born, while I was BLISSFULLY at HOME. The pumpkin was down for a nap (these were the 4 Hour Nap days), and I discovered their journey, and began reading and couldn't stop. I was sitting there balling my eyes out. If anyone had come in they would think I was having a breakdown or something. I immediately sent the link to Josh (my hubby). When he got home I asked him if he had received it, and he had, but hadn't looked into it. I pulled it up and read to him several blogs and explained the whole story to him. And, I am crying as I am reading it to him. And we are just astonished at this beautiful family and their journey. And their unwavering faith in the Lord. Simply amazing. A few of my fav blogs: the day Audrey was born (April 7, 2008), after her passing (same), Angie's letter to Audrey(April 11, 2008), when Angie and Todd first discovered the challenges they would be given with Audrey(January 12, 2008-introduction blog), the story about Audrey's bunny with the mark on her heart (same), and Audrey's Cherry Blossom Tree blog (Tuesday April 7, 2009-oh my god, I was near hyperventalation). Come on, how much can one person's heart endure? In the Introduction blog, I am still haunted by the words Angie speaks after hearing of Caroline's fate, "I think that my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked into this room." And again, "He's no different, it's okay, He's no different..."

On Kelly's website, she featured the song Angie and Todd wrote for (and sing?) for Caroline You have to scroll down a little to find it. I had never heard this, and I there I was crying again. To hear their story, see their story, every time, I am brought back to the same place. Each time, it affects me as if it were the first. I can't help but think of my little pumpkin and my abundant love for her. It makes the heart HEAVY to hear their story and listen to them (there is also a interview with them explaining their journey). It is a beautiful story. Uplifting, life altering, miraculous, and yet so heavy, so very, very heavy. How amazing they are, and that God chose them to tell this story. I had to share.

Obsession, Awe...

It's 2 am and I have been searching blogs for quite some time now. Lately, I have been obsessed with searching for blogs-for inspiration-through words and photography. My obsession with photography started with my wedding. When looking for the perfect wedding photographer, I stumbled upon magic...Wedding photography, Engagements, Babies, Families-BLISS. I became intrigued with getting a glimpse into people's lives, a glimpse through a photographers' eyes. After my wedding, and my own disappointment with my wedding photos, I became, I would say, obsessed, with photography. I had a career position at the time, that allowed me a bit of down time, and I used that down time, searching photographers websites. I find photography so beautiful. Simply beautiful! It's like a sneak-peak into someone's life. You are a visitor in their dream world. In that moment, it's a glimpse of a moment in time, a moment in their life, forever captured on film. And in that moment, there is simplicity. Black and White, Color, Smooth lines, Crisp Colors, Sharp Edges, Softness-Beautiful. In that moment, this new couple, these Newlyweds aren't arguing over him leaving his dirty clothes all over the house, or wet towels on the floor. He isn't accusing her of going shopping or being spoiled. Their not arguing over money or family or stonewalling. They're not hurting each other by things said, or words unspoken. In that moment, their in love. And that's all you see. Simple-Love. Beautiful Love. Life. No Chaos. And there is Chaos. We all know there is. People fight, people argue, people disagree. That's life. But you don't capture that on film. Weddings are magical places, magical events. Everyone loves weddings, you'll never see a couple more happy, more in-love, more care-free. The world is their oyster. Their life is just beginning...And that is what you see come through the photos and it's magical.

With Children-enough said. Children are simple creatures. They just are, no rhyme or reason. They emit beauty just by being. And that moment is forever captured in time. That smile, that laugh, that curly cue, those baby feet, tiny hands, belly roll, belly button, dimply cheeks. You stopped time for a moment, and in that image they will forever be 1 day old, 1 week old, 1 month old, 1 year old.

I feel as though I have tapped into this magical world with blogging. I am discovering all these beautiful, unique people, and I am in awe...simple, pure, raw, utter awe. And, it has inspired me to seek that out in myself. Lately, I just feel like I have this bug, this tick that I can't quite squelch. I feel like I am going to burst with energy and I don't know what to do with it. My husband, my love, my strength, my guide, my support, has given me a photoshop program, and I think with what time I can find at the end of each very long, very exhausting day, I am going to delve into it, and devote my time to that, so instead of just wishing I could offer the gift of photography to others, and to my daughter through pictures, I will be that much closer to actually doing it. I am also going to try to write more, devote more time to searching within myself. I used to love to write. Short stories, drafts for books, poetry, letters, notes, and then I just stopped. Where did it go? I'm om a mission to find it. Wish me luck!

In my searching, I discovered this and found this Seriously in love with this man's photography. Astounding, so beautiful. I seriously cried. Cried at the beauty. Cried for these couples and their love. Cried for joy that they will have these moments frozen forever in time. Cried, wishing I had the same. Cried wishing I could give this gift that he has to others. Absolutely beautiful. I am in love with what he does with the engagement ring at each different photo shoot. He always finds a way to incorporate the ring into the stage/setting of the shoot. So unique. I think I found a new obsession.