Monday, October 26, 2009


That's what the thermometer said, when I took Nikolina's temperature at 6 am Saturday when she woke up screaming, her whole body on fire from head to toe, and I swear, my heart stopped...Everything racing through my head, and the dreaded thought that something terrible was going to happen to my pumpkin, and at that moment nothing else in the world mattered, Nothing. I went into 'Survival Mommy Mode,' maybe it was more like, "Oh my God, Oh my God, Mommy's Freaking Out Mode," but I like to think it was the former. I called her pediatrician... You always think against it, because you hear all these stories how doctors hate to be raised out of a deep slumber to be awakened to that First Mother Freak Out that occurs when their first child has their first sniffle or temperature. But, I pushed that thought into the back of mind, and rushed to find my phone to call him. What else is he there for if not calm my worst fears that something terrible is happening to my freshly 6 month old innocent child? He advised me to to give her some Tylenol, and put her in a room temperature bath, and see if her temperature goes down within 45 minutes. And, we could bring her in at 8 am to have her looked at if we were still concerned/could not keep her temperature down. Well, we held her temp at bay, but as you can imagine, I was there bright and early, and we were the first ones in the parking lot at 8 am. The pediatrician, I might say, the same pediatrician that I had when I was a child confirmed that she was battling a virus, but he wasn't sure what it was, and not much we could do, she had to fight it off for herself. Obviously, I did not like that answer, but not much I could do about it.
Bless her heart, she was such a trooper and hardly raised much of a fuss, even though I need she was fighting it hard. I gave her 5 baths Saturday bc it appeared that the Tylenol was not working as well as we had hoped in keeping her fever down. We switched to Motrin at night, and then began alternating them. I took her for a car ride to try and get her to sleep around 7. She did not get to sleep very well that night, and once she did, shortly after when I tried to move her, she woke up screaming, and continued for quite some time. My heart was breaking for her, and I desperately wanted to make her pain my own, or do anything to appease her. Ironically, Josh chose today to install a linoleum floor in our downstairs basement, and I thought I was going to loose my sanity as the night approached the day. He finally stepped on board and took the rains for a bit so I could regain some composure. Afterwards, I took them back as the sounds of her cries of pain were deafening to my ears, and I took her to our bed to lay with her and nurse her. Her temperature remained steady at 101.8 from 7 pm Saturday to 10 Am Sunday, and finally started to wean throughout the day.
Mimi came over to give me a break on Sunday, as Josh started some smaller projects on the house, and Papa took a break from raking leaves to come over and take Nik for some fresh air and a stroller ride, as it warmed up quite considerably early in the afternoon. I hesitated on the idea, but have read that getting children out in the fresh air when they are sick is actually good for them, as long as they're well enough, and it's warm enough. I talked with our daycare provider, who did admit to me that her husband came down with it last week, and one of the other children came down with the same thing on Friday. Nik's temperature subsided, but she was still quite un-comfortable, so I decided to stay home with her today in the hopes that she would get to feeling better. I don't know that she's much better than yesterday afternoon, but I hope so, as I am going back to work tomorrow, and hate to give her over to the sitter if she's still not feeling like herself.
This is the second virus in two weeks, she has battled, and it has my heart aching that they both seemed to have stemmed as a result of her exposure to daycare. I wish that I could remove that exposure from her life, and remove all this that a 6 month old should not have to fight on her own. But, I can't. So, what do I do with that, and where do I go from here? Only I can determine that and only God knows.

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